Unreasonable Tears

I often feel uncomfortable about my tears. For some reason I find it difficult to cry even in front of people I trust. So I was especially annoyed at myself one day when I lay on my bed and cried over lots of “little” things.

At the time, I was working an early-morning shift at a radio station. That meant that when I left work, my friends were still at their jobs, and I had to go to bed just when they were ready to socialize. It was lonely sometimes, and that day I felt extra lonely. I started sniffling because I simply wished a friend could be free to eat lunch with me. Then I started thinking sadly about close friends I hadn’t heard from in a while because they were so busy, and our life seasons were different. Suddenly a rush of other minor irritations overwhelmed me. Besides, I was exhausted. I curled up, put my fuzzy bathrobe over my head, and wept. Yet even as I sobbed, my brain was protesting, “This is ridiculous! You know there are logical reasons for everything that has hurt you. It’s not personal!” As I lay there, I prayed, “I feel as though I shouldn’t be hurt, God. I shouldn’t be crying. These tears are so unreasonable.” Then I cried all the more because I didn’t want to inconvenience anyone, even God, with such silliness.

That’s when I felt God kindly whisper to my heart, “I want your unreasonable tears.”

God is so much gentler with me than I am with myself. And God invites us all to pour out our hearts to Him (Ps. 62:8). In fact, David says about God, “You keep track of all my sorrows. You have collected all my tears in your bottle. You have recorded each one in your book” (Ps. 56:8).¹ What detailed care!

God can take our frustrations, anger, and tears—whether we have good reason for our feelings or whether we think our reasons are trivial. He wants the real, unedited version of us. One of my favorite quotes from Ellen White puts it this way: “Keep your wants, your joys, your sorrows, your cares, and your fears before God. You cannot burden Him; you cannot weary Him. . . . Take to Him everything that perplexes the mind. Nothing is too great for him to bear, for he holds up worlds. . . . Nothing that in any way concerns our peace is too small for Him to notice. . . . The relations between God and each soul are as distinct and full as though there were not another soul upon the earth to share His watchcare, not another soul for whom He gave His beloved Son.”²

You may have moments like me, where you are being hard on yourself and wondering if you are burdening God with your concerns. But remember that God welcomes you with compassion and treats you with tenderness. As Jesus Himself said: “Come to me, all of you who are weary and carry heavy burdens, and I will give you rest. . . . I am humble and gentle at heart, and you will find rest for your souls” (Matt. 11:28, 29).

¹Scripture quotations have been taken from the Holy Bible, New Living Translation, copyright © 1996, 2004, 2015 by Tyndale House Foundation. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers, Inc., Carol Stream, Illinois 60188. All rights reserved.
²Ellen G. White, Steps to Christ (Mountain View, Calif.: Pacific Press Pub. Assn., 1956), p. 100.